The Scars Within
by Kohana Yamauchi
Summary: [YAOI] SHIPS: Eren x Levi, Eren x Armin, Eren x Mikasa, Jean x Armin, Jean x Marco, Sasha x Connie / Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Romance, Fluffy, AU (School) /


**THE SCARS WITHIN**

Kohana Yamauchi

**Chapter 1**

Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don't know. Everything seems to have lost meaning, nothing matters and yet the hands of time forever tick on without any sympathy for the collection of troubles I'm faced with. Perhaps I'm being selfish, everyone has problems right? Well mine just seem to pile up higher and higher, a tower of regret, misery and loneliness. Mother had some illness, the name of it always seemed to slip my mind, maybe it was me being naive, that if I didn't acknowledge how pale her face had become, how timid her voice became, the thinness of her wrists and thighs, that everything would stay in it's plain state. Mikasa left too, just before Mother died, she grabbed a suitcase, packed all her belongings and left for Trost Train Station, no explanations, just a note which read 'Sorry Eren'. She always did say the same words, "I promise to stay by your side", her empty promises always held a special place in my heart and I believed them too, I can't help but let out a laugh when I think about it; and as for my father, who gives a shit where he is, always something more important to do. Family? To hell with it.

It was hard to get up that morning; I wanted nothing more than to keep myself hidden under the ruffled sea waves of my bed sheets. I lacked any motivation. I was soon peeled away from comfort by the smiling idiot, Armin.

"Eren, Eren!"

The shouting of such a happy guy really made my skin crawl, his shouts ringing around my head; all I could manage was a grunt in return before I rolled back onto my front.

"Get up Eren, you promised you'd come to school today."

I couldn't help but snort at his methods of waking me up, "Didn't you know promises are made to be broken?"

"Come on, you need to stop moping about, you haven't gone to school in two months, what would your mother…"

"Oh fuck off Armin, what do you know about my mother?" I bit my tongue after realising what I'd said, I turned over and looked at his crumpled face realising I'd really upset him; after all Armin was the one person who hadn't left me. I couldn't argue with him, he was right, I had been feeling sorry myself, as if I'd admit that to him though.

After seeing the tears well in his comforting eyes I couldn't just stay lying in bed. I grabbed his tiny wrist and tugged him into my arms, his little body always made me laugh. That boy was always somewhat comforting from his innocent eyes to his sweet scent. I felt like I could've stayed there forever, feeling his warmth against my body, but seeing that pleading face in front of mine really tugged at my heart strings. I brushed my thumb across his eyes wiping the collecting tears. "Eren." My hand instinctively covered his mouth, I knew I'd end up balling if he gave me one of his emotional speeches about how much he cared and that he was there for me.

"Sorry Armin, I'll be down in 5 minutes, you can just wait in the car." A soft kiss made its way to my forehead as he pulled himself from my arms, how stubborn. I heaved my limp body up from the warm pit that was my bed and placed my feet on the wooden floorboards, feeling the fresh winter chill engulf my feet. He nodded his head, his golden locks gently brushing his face. I watched him for a moment as he walked round the bed and out of our room.

Armin had brought me into his apartment a few weeks ago, he never said why but I presumed he didn't trust me, of what I was capable of after my mother had died and Mikasa had abandoned me. I'd never tell him but I was really grateful for everything he'd done for me. We'd been together on and off but now he was all I had left, the only thing I could call my own and probably the one thing which kept me going.

After realising I'd been staring into nothingness for a good few minutes, I rushed to our wardrobe and chucked on a pair of old skinny jeans and a jumper that coconut head had brought me last Christmas. I wrapped a ruby scarf around my bare neck bracing myself for the winter scenery. I walked over to the parked silver ford focus, submerged in snow, it had clearly seen better days but it did the job. The sharp cold air was a shock to my lungs forcing me to rush to the car.

"Are you that excited to get to school, Eren? Armin burst into a musical laugh.

"Oh stop it Armin. You're killing me, really."

"Alright Mr Grumpy." Armin pouted.

"Be quiet Coconut."

"Eren! You know how much I hate that name." I couldn't stop myself from laughing whilst Armin panicked, brushing his locks into place, "My hair doesn't really make me look like a coconut head does it?"

I shook my head at how easy he was to wind up, "No, no, don't worry little Armin, now let's go before we're late."

I don't know what it was I said but his face seemed to light up and he developed some huge cute grin. "What are you smiling at?"

"Oh nothing, you just seem to be a little, you know, happier. It reminds me of how things used to be."

"How things used to be, huh." The words were a trigger to all the things that had happened in the past month, for a moment I'd forgotten about all my troubles but they'd all come flooding back to haunt me soon enough. Was it my fault Mikasa left? Was it my fault Mother got ill? I stared out the car window at the winter plagued streets until my eyes became heavy and the scenery became nothing but a blur. I must've fell asleep because the next thing I saw was Armin's face in mine as he shook me back to reality.

"Eren we're here."

"Here?"

"Yes, here, at school? Are you feeling alright? You seem a little pale."

"Oh right, school."

"Do you want to go to the nurse, Eren?"

"Nurse? No I'm fine let's just get into class." I shook my head frantically to wake myself up or maybe to just try to shift the awkwardness I felt as heads turned to face the student who'd just up and left school without any explanations.

I fitted my hand in Armin's as he looked up giving me that 'everything's fine, I'm here' look, even though Armin looked comical trying to comfort me with that face, it still managed to lift off some of the anxiety I felt.

"Hey Eren! Is that really you?! Hey guys look its Eren!" I identified the voice as Connie Springer, it wasn't easy to forget that loud mouths voice and all the idiotic slur is spewed, but honestly he was good fun even though he had less brains than the potatoes Sasha so dearly munched on. A few people looked up but I couldn't make out their faces until I'd walked into the room. "You do remember us don't you? I'm Connie, that's Marco, that's Reiner, this is Sasha, over there is..." I rolled my eyes finding it hard to believe he thought I was on the same level of intelligence as him. "Yeah Connie, I was only off school a few months with depression, not dementia."

"Oh so that's why you wasn't here."

Ymir seemed to come out of nowhere, slapping Connie's skinhead like a straight man, "Jesus Christ Connie, have some sympathy."

"Right, sorry about your mom Eren, she was a good woman."

"Spare me the sympathy, I don't need it."

"Well, okay then."

My eyes seemed to wander towards the shadow that stood in the doorway of the classroom, they were short in stature but well built.

"Oi brats get in your seats before I whip you all!"  
>"Who the hell is that? A new student?"<p>

"That's our new homeroom teacher, he won't tell us his name he just told us to call him Corporal"

"What kind of name is that for a teacher?"

"Beats me"

Our new homeroom teacher? It was laughable, his height barely made it to my chin, if it wasn't for his stern, defined face I would've mistaken him for a middle schooler lost in the big pond known as high school. His sharp eyes were what enticed me though, despite being sharp, they seemed to hold the same pain and anger mine did, perhaps I didn't notice it then but even so I lost all thought when I looked in them. I must've been daydreaming but his loud deep voice unbefitting of his stature, brought me back to the limp reality I was living, how dull.

"What did I just say? Who are you anyway brat?"

"You can just call him angst", it was kind of wondrous that I managed to speak without even opening my mouth, unfortunately I didn't actually possess such a talent, instead it was that bastard Jean who thought it would be funny to bring up my old nickname.

"Shut it Kirschstein I didn't ask you to speak, and you I asked your name."

"Jaeger, Eren Jaeger"

"Well Jaeger, get to your god damn seat and stop wasting my time."

I'd developed the nickname "angst" for obvious reasons, I always felt anger and I was hot blooded, or so I was told, not that I really cared. Despite not wanting to follow the irritating orders barked at me by Corporal Cupcake, I took to my dusted seat; I guess I wasn't in the mood to get into any heated arguments this morning. Before soon, "Corporal" began reading the school notices, although I wasn't too bothered about what new school clubs there were or any other shit the school felt interesting, even so I felt my eyes following this weird guy, I hate to admit it but he was attractive; his raven hair was styled in a crew cut, his parting slightly over to the right, it wasn't a modern style or anything remotely normal but it suited him. His short stature didn't exactly affect his body either, his black shirt fit his torso just right showing his thin waist and chiseled biceps. What intrigued me most were his slate eyes, unkind and secretive, I wanted to know where the darkness in his eyes came from, I suppose it gave me something to think about aside from… you know. My chance came quicker than expected.

"Oi you with the girly name, what was it again, Erin Jaeger?"

Despite being attractive he definitely had a shitty attitude, god he pissed me off, it made my blood boil.

"It's Eren Jaeger, who're you calling girly when your hair is longer than mine."

"I don't take note of every little brat's name I come across, I'd watch your tongue."

"Is it just that your mental capacity is as small as your height? Maybe then I could understand why you can't remember such a simple thing as my name."

By now the rest of the class had turned to look at the commotion, most open mouthed. From the corner of my eye I could see Armin shaking his head as he mouthed the word 'stop' but the thrill of getting a chance to make this weird guy react was exhilarating. I guess I was slightly egged on by the childish smirks of Connie behind me. Corporal finally decided to look up from his sheet of paper.

"Oh?"

I could sense what I believed to be aggravation in his voice, with that he slowly walked towards my desk, towards me. With every step my heart raced with excitement, the thrill of finding out what this guy was really like. Eventually he reached my desk, looking down on me with a glare as sharp as a rifle. The room by now was filled with a deadly silence whilst the rest of the students anticipated his next move. Without any hesitation he rammed his palms into my deteriorating desk with the force of bulldozer, his face inches from mine; his stone eyes struck me searching every inch of me. My body's reactions seemed to be controlled by him so easily, I jumped with the shock of such an unexpected action, my eyes widened with shock. I hated it. He must've sensed what I was thinking because he decided to withdraw his body with a smug smirk. It took a few moments for me to recollect my thoughts as embarrassment took over, it must've showed as the class began whispering and giggling between themselves.

The sharp twang of the school bell echoed throughout the class giving me the perfect opportunity to get the hell out of there. I grabbed my backpack swinging it over my shoulder before walking furiously to the door only to be stopped by another command from Corporal cupcake, "Oi brat, you'll be joining me after school, don't even think about not showing up or I'll embarrass your sorry ass again."

He ran his hand through his midnight hair and returned to his seat seemingly losing interest in me. I gritted my teeth and charged out the class room and into the corridor, the fury rapidly building within me. This guy had some fucking nerve, even though I wanted to use him as my personal punching bag I found myself wanting to see what would happen if I actually turned up after school. Jean seemed to follow me outside because I heard his irritating laugh drawing closer to me, "Hey Jaeger you really embarrassed yourself there".

"As if I give a shit."

"You should, everyone's laughing at how you practically wet yourself, you even ended up looking like a fuckin' tomato."

I seriously wasn't going to take this guy's shit, without realising I'd already grabbed him by his collar, thrusting him up the lockers.

"You wanna say that again you piece of shit, I'd rather look like a tomato than a horse".

"Wow the name angst is really befitting of you, so is the name bender, everyone knows how you go out with Armin the skinny little nerd".

The tip of the fucking ice berg.

"Don't you dare speak about Armin like that, say whatever shit you want about me, I don't care, but don't say anything about Armin when you know nothing about him."

"Skinny. Little. Nerd".

Just as I raised my fist and began aiming for that annoying face, I felt a familiar tug at my arm. I looked down to see the teary blonde haired boy.

"Eren, please stop, I don't care what he says, I just don't want you to get into any more trouble". His fists clenched my jumper tightly as I felt the anger drain from me. I managed to put the piece of shit down before being led away by Armin. He always did have a knack for calming me down.

"Yeah, run away bender."

I couldn't help but smirk at how in denial he was.

"You know Jean, that's kinda funny considering you and Marco had it going on at Sasha's birthday party, everyone knows you dumbass, at least I don't hide my relationship."

"Stop fucking lying, I like girls."

"Keep telling yourself that, _bender_."

I guess making Jean squirm was just as satisfying as if I'd punched him, maybe even more. I suppose the satisfaction of embarrassing Jean made me feel slightly better. You're probably wondering why I hate Jean so fucking much, let's take a trip down memory lane. It all started in our first year of high school, Jean had a crush on Mikasa and spent all his time trying to win her over until he realised she was my girlfriend. Naturally he started hating me like the child he is, trying to split us up and I guess it just started from there. It might've been because I told everyone he got a boner over Mikasa during maths, it wasn't like I lied though. He just has one of those faces you wanna punch ya'know? He got so excited when we broke up but Mikasa still rejected him again. Seeing Jean get so embarrassed was hilarious.

I guess today might actually be a good day.


End file.
